Sadness and grief

My mom passed away last month.  What started out as symptoms related to some UT problems was later discovered to be full blown Lymphoma.   She underwent treatment for a few months and we all hoped for a recovery and a normal life, she was even counting the days when she could rejoin the school.

I could see that the treatment was affecting her and she was getting weaker by the day.  There were times when she was real happy when her colleagues came to visit her in the hospital.  We thought the worst was behind us.   She was a positive person in all aspects and wished good things for many people and herself.

Things went out of very quickly and we were helpless. The last few days that I was with her I could see that she was becoming desperately weak. Doctors couldn’t do much, the conditioned worsened and we stuck as long as was possible.  She had somehow realized she was not going to survive and asked us to stay with her.  She passed away in the morning with the people of her side of the family and father’s side beside her.

I couldn’t panic or grow desperate even when the doctors told me she couldn’t survive. We just took necessary actions without thinking.  Her side of the family were the ones who took great pride in taking care of her in her last days.  We’re grateful for the time they gave her.

We held the cremation at her hometown in Kumbakonam, I could sadly imagine she’d have preferred that.

The next few days passed away in sadness and somehow in an realization that we’re born of the dust and become dust; the quality of our life is reflected in the actions and the people we leave behind.

I’m still sad, we do miss her and sometimes imagine her to be at home when I visit there or call. It is but the memory of the love and kindness shown to us for decades that makes me think this.  My only wish is that she would believe we were worthy of her time and love.

She was a teacher, student, a poet and one of her published poem was about her longing for her mother, how sadly apt it is to us now!

This was a harsh lesson to learn, to value people when they are alive and cherish our time with them.

I’ve always thought people were the real source of all the riches in ones life. I’m adding time as one of the things to value.

Life is not going to be the same without her….


Our Mom


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: