Suggestive from the recent posts my emotions have lost their lid. I’ve been feeling lost and crap for a long time but I think I have found a cozy corner in the multitudes of triviality that surrounds us.
One thing that overpowers me is the urge to find the whereabouts of a certain person, some of my friends know about it.
The normal search routine stop as soon as I feel I can do better things with my time. On one rare moment after years of doing this our favorite search engine suddenly became my bestest friend. It threw up the match. A little cross checking and with a bit of intuition I figured it out.
Now I feel relieved and anxious at the same time. I know she’s on her way to greatness and maybe it was a deliberate choice on her part to let things hang between us. The question is should I respect that decision and let the drama unfold at its own pace or charge in and hasten the scenes?
Maybe I should credit myself for the being people search savvy and break the silence and grin at the naivety of people towards the net and a heavy does of perseverance.
I frequently try to guess how things have turned out for her. How she’s changed, how much I’ve changed, what do we like these days, who are our friends, how does it feel to be alive in each other shoes? It s a heart warming feeling, the space and time only exists in the limits of your imagination.
Flashes of incoherent images of joy and sadness play around in your mind when one things about it. My mind is cruel to me if I unleash my imagination. I’ve long since realized one could inflict great pains to others and self if one is not careful with his thoughts. Me being no exception to the rule stick within the cozy confines of my mediocre imagination. The torrent of ideas and revelations need a special kind of discipline to wield; which I clearly lack.
Given the state of my mental faculties and the innate ability of cluelessness, I have decided to keep my findings to myself and let life unravel itself one piece at a time lest we miss out on the joys of feeling vulnerable and needing.
And to close with some oriental charm which make me sound wise:
A single snowflake can bend the leaf of the bamboo