Did ye watch the recent Ant-Man & Wasp, well I did, enjoyed it a much; having had lost myself in the past in the Quantum realm too I had contemplated the deep nature of certain scenes where the small small things come into the scene, a delightful reading experience and a seemingly grand “understanding” of the realm gives one a magical feeling; the kind of mysteries Prof. Dumbledore contemplates in his study at times and in a surge of emotion in the movie he grapples at it with Harry.
In the not so distant future or in the recent past, I had or will have read something with many equations in a textbook, of which, I remember the good cover design(vaguely), in which one could gleam the discovery of this world by following the definitions that follow the math and perhaps realize that we could have at a deeper level of our consciousness we have always felt the presence of this world; seen at the manifest level this could be imagined to have a parallel in the ancient world views and scientific understanding and its modern:- surviving elements as reflected in the journey through our various quests in understanding of the grander elements at play, which perhaps our ancients have already unraveled for us. Yet the systems are such that the language of its encoding has become more than mere artifacts for understanding but has seeped itself in our religiosity and practices as a means of perpetuation and exploration.
Various gateways to this realm exists and by contemplation and perhaps a little bit of divine guidance we may be able to explore, it be of such great things that one needs a far greater humility to shrink thyself like Ant-man to small-smalls. Balls!
What a nuisance.
It makes everyone happy.
Worth the trouble.
It is raining here in Ooty and the scenery outside is splendid with all the trees now dark brown and some skinned to silver adding a definitive sharpness to our sights, the gentle rain found itself onto the pages, reminded me of other places and times in the past rain filled afternoons and me chasing much more than the void on the glimmering roads in the city, a sudden drench fills up the scenery in front of our eyes as we give up on chasing a larger vehicle and find shelter in that one place where we any ordinary sense like ours can find something more than what meets the eyes.
This day I found half an hour of text-reading time, outdoor, to reflect on various facets of the day; turning a leaf was so difficult, had been reading at the rate of paragraphs of that story this week; no point hurrying, I can understand such many things as the words paint the pictures and create the world for us.
Good Night, Football fun!!
Desperate times and difficult situations has taught me to see joy in That little spark from which we can restart the journey.
The ritual of the early morning approach to the town- into the landscape gets a bit more philosophical than usual on Sundays, the thoughts of the afternoon being far away.
I was out of my home early this morning, walking slow, I was thinking of starting work in the afternoon, didn’t want to miss the early morning light which seems to be doing more good to my eyes.
I take in the landscape, the good mountains, animals and the many quaint happenings in the town; not having the trouble of a business endeavor of any special kind gives one a peculiar kind of freedom to explore our thoughts and perhaps in a way journey on on many fronts and in having the time to reflect on the many wonders which we already are in possession of: plants, birds, animals, scenery… I like it! the much that we could see as we give our sights the depth and time it needs to teach us more.
As I was walking the road to the hill, I was reminded of the good old trees which were on either side of the road, silently proclaiming that they will be there to filter out the pollutants.
Few of the other good little creatures were out there, many were dozing, I saw the little mop of a dog pawing the grass, as I approached the town a solitary yellow butterfly, and later the dog with the bouncing ears. They too like the morning.
I realize that the many trees of the town were here long before us and what a splendid figure they paint in the sunshine; their lovely colors on the blue sky welcoming us marvelously into the day.
As I was walking one of the roads, I was quick enough too to catch a glimpse of the wonderful little bird, the color of a leaf, which was just fluttering on the branch of a plant with gentle red flowers.
Looking up, I found them showing a surprised and familiar glance of having remembered me, perhaps from days past.
I let the rays of sun shine through the plants and give it much time to reach me and to allow the scene to reveal its glory with me. One such moment is sufficient to keep our spirits up for days on end; desolate days be few with a sufficiency of these in our mind.
Occasional stories unfold in the town among all our buildings and the little civilization that surrounds them, the shops and homes. Hearing people utter something and guessing if they are speaking to us or on a phone or to some higher spirit is at times mildly amusing.
People seem to be having some issues with me doing my data-entry gig from my home-office, basically a laptop and our good Internet conn., I’m now a worker on Amazon’s Mechanical Turk platform; have been for years now, I discovered the presence of my very old account which I had created during my early exploration of frugal living or at least the theory of it. I like to explore things, a habit that first strengthens us and takes us to heights where one is gently reminded of the flying dude with waxy wings etc. or perhaps into a fern filled thicket: an universe in itself with dark secrets unknown. I had come out of one recently; with the tip of the fern like a blade to my chest asking me if I had everything I need to be happy and yet what was that one mystery which I was still seeking when I seem to forget the many which I’ve already been privy to in our journey thus far; discovered the little plants and magical little creatures who dwell in there: unscathed.
Don’t know what they expect, they called me a “vetti”, the Tamil word for a useless person or someone who cuts things I suppose, I do cut things, I saw and I slash, many a plants can attest to this and my poor parasol has now become a steel wand. I do have a machete, the last time I was sharpening it to skin a piece of log it surprisingly gave me a great deal of power; or I thought it did; having been living close to the lake in Ulsoor one gets a little carried away with the lady story or was it the Lorelei’s who frequent the lake in the city, one could most definitely know if an entity is human these days, if we see them using a phone; too much for one person such as yours truly to have accidentally wielded as a wand against a nagging, shouting neighbor person, who was so poised that day to speak to me out of my reverie; closed living spaces does drive one to know about a person more clearly if not dearly. Was it Van Gogh who recommended a little squint? All in good cheer and no harm meant, yet hurt in some ways was I, in a series of events that followed in the small village which I had called home and have now since left, we are perhaps a little too real a character at times, the feelings too strong, the struggle much, the world be more true a stage for incomplete selves and I suspect the circumstances were beyond a simple explanation quite readily understood by poor old me. Familiarity and contempt. Draw no weapon.
This episode after the previous poor-drunk neighbor-bro beat his crying wife to tears as I spoke up for her as did the ladies of the neighborhood, later, for which the doubtful accusation of her having slept with me was raised as the basis for my empowering voice. Is this the No good deed unpunished thing. This reminds me of the other soul about the lake neighborhood who for complementing the Rasam of a neighbor lady got into a pickle with his wife and thus he had related his tale the other day as we went about for a walk exploring sections of the streets surrounding the lake, quite a strange day, he led me to a bunch of little violent kids who tried to harass me on their motorcycles, they snatched up my sunglasses and they kept invoking mother for some reason, perhaps the slang term for insulting my mother or infuriating me. My mother passed away many years ago. I have remarked elsewhere on the strange language which folks have started to speak in.
I know the type of the gang, what do they expect that we get into a fight and damage my bones, I was flustered by their behavior and walked away. Time and again such folks have surfaced in my stay there, what drives them to be so hostile, I know not, the IT crowd is seen as outsiders, we know in a way we are outsiders, we leave our families behind to come work in the city, we don’t know that many of Kannada words or Tamil words of the new for that matter, yet were are here and on various occasions we have seen the same tri-colour across the fields on a gently waking dawn in the village, if you’d like some imagery, “village” is a term of endearment in our vocabulary; outsiders of their faith; if that is the point of their contention, we have a few beliefs of our own and we know there are differences and yet the communique is quite commingled while in adoration and suffering, a relief to be certain and a presence more real than a passing glance, love and innocence ; no, that might not be the reason, I was wearing my sunglasses to see clearly through my contacts, I liked the clarity of the lens, we who wear glasses miss out on seeing things clearly, I suspect we don’t have a great deal of peripheral vision which the many good vision folks have, and I was happy that day, quite a target. I remember having bathed luxuriously happy for the warm water in the new neighborhood, having recently bought a small heater coil with the little money I had from the kind vendor in the ancient village who gave me a discount, I had joined another company and was thinking about rebuilding. I have books plenty.
The all were some birds invoking divinity with their music which led to the languages or some such thing, I remember from that book in the library. Some great persona had asked Telugu lesa among all desa bashagalus.
Perhaps you don’t need so much of the details. Let us see if all these intricacies acts a shield.
No worries as of yet, and did you know that Japanese saws work on the pull stroke, well I didn’t, I knew left and right by having cycled round and round: naught for nothing but to see if some of those lateral shifts does happen, which it did after all those years of Sisyphusing about in Bangalore and Ooty, not without its share of having taken its toll on my body. I have thoroughly enjoyed my stay and I have done my best to present my best self to the world and have greatly developed a great appreciation for the struggle of the many folk who live everywhere. I spoke to a dog the other day during the twilight magic hour as the rain drizzled and the sun made it all sparkle and the Rocks remember our history in the ancient jungle and it was okay with me sharing the little puddle of Water like every other non-muggle creature. In time.
I grew a few more personalities, a reader does live quite a few lives, I was a bird too, bite me, ye of little faith. I showed a few of them the way out the other day when they were all having a restaurant of a time inside my head, not enough glass items to throw at the walls. Man does destroy more when he builds. I’m gonna punch you in the face if you talk without humility or crack open your skull if you belittle the work which I do, for it has saved me at my lowest and given me hope for success. Let it be, it just sounds fun- the violence, I haven’t cracked open any person. You are a paragon of virtue and quite a masterpiece if you work on your personality a little. Can conflict really create a sense of belonging?
I took up the hammer and chisel this day to beat a piece together, it has been years since I was asked to resign from my “job” of some system administration/operations; great thing, ages ago, learned that these are thankless jobs as Limonocelli puts it, not that I was particularly good at these to be thanked for, I have used that lesson in other scenarios in life, I was learning, I couldn’t program fluently, perhaps dwelt on the “reinvention of the wheel” for far too long to actually learn to program in the “few” languages that are there, I did like to talk to people, but didn’t get to work on time for there was no real separation between work and life, for it was all work and study and fun and I liked to travel back home to the hills often and friends were all growing up. Meme overload!!
Truth is a matter of perspective, I suppose, I’ll update this. As I look back, I’m reminded this phase was crucial, of a different persona, a complete and deliberate disconnection from many, quite a difficult process and not for the faint of heart, grief will be your friend and all your learning from the movies from college will come handy and perhaps you’ll discover new horizons and rediscover lost selves within you and reignite the inner fire by shedding calories, it will absolutely drive you nuts. You are your worst enemy!
Years ago: a different part of my persona, quite a brave and adventurous one; ever a wonderful tale in itself.
They had asked me to resign as I did not provide any “value” to the organization and I did promptly resign and went on a vacation to the wonderful Goa after attending a friend’s wedding in the west coast, finding my way around, soaking my feet in the cool beaches and tracking down The train. The universe does conspire.
It was a good Hindi movie with all the zombies and the jungle which in a way inspired me to check out the place and I’m glad I did. I met a few wonderful dogs that jumped me while I was walking about the nice beaches at night and we fought with gusto for what I don’t remember, a little tired from the long walks and dizzying freedom and not to mention the travel fatigue, great many thoughts and stories floated by and I managed to gain a lot of perspective from the raging sounds of the sea and I’m sure I may have met many friends in person there too and I might have perhaps written a few leaves of wonder and discovered amazing things and places, yeah. A sense of history different from the ones which I was used to and the sheer magnificence of the place all contributed to the renewal of the narration, I’m thankful for all the temples, but that was is just a personal feeling, free ranging spirits will still find their inspiration in many other places there, I’m sure, I liked the coffee, the early breakfast and the discovery, I have been wanting to go there for sometime now, once again. Distance lends enchantment.
Silence is golden and they can’t hurt us if we don’t give them any reason to hurt us.
Should I get myself some minor vice?
I compose some words and hope to make sense of it all, if there be a jarring note, it might be because I wasn’t drinking enough water or some such thing, not pure hate.
I’ll update tomorrow after…
Thanks for reading!!
All in the mind: the mountains were treacherous looking, as the evening grew darker the birds were calling out to perhaps hurry with my passage that dealt with valleys, in the growing darkness there came across the gushing stream the snort of a familiar pig animal, the ones who were happily roaming about in sunny days past here,
I have seen them in various places adding a touch of their wild humor to the landscape of buttresses and cypresses old in our splendid little (slightly) crazy town.
Quite fascinated they were with the wind-carried carry bag the other day, singular though today this brown animal: I had sensed before we locked eyes in the growing dark, stunned for a second it stood there motionless, waiting to see if I was something alive and what I was; this strange phenomenon on this side of the stream, which I suspect, he usually comes away to his home at this hour. Ye poor creature darted with away in a hurry as I confirmed his presence with a look of familiar recognition, I have scared this same animal more than once and it never gets old: the stunned behavior of this creature.
I wonder where the rest of them are playing these days.
Happy new year!